Like this:

I was not even 30 when my father left me in the wilderness of this world all alone. His exit was so unexpected that I did not get the time to pull myself up psychologically to counter the enormous void left behind him. Then, I could not shed a drop of tear else that would make my mother and two sisters weaker. I did not weep even in solitude. I do not know whether it has made me any stronger.  Even today, after 17 years  when my mother asks me why I did not weep on my father’s death, I leave the question go  unanswered.  Deep in my heart everyday I mourn the loss, weep and look upto him for advice in all matters.

I vividly remember the only time he wrote to me was when I was in the hostel . My mother used to send me postcards on a regular basis. Access to telephone wasn’t that easy in those days. The joy of finding a postcard slid from below the door of my room when I returned from my classes was more than winning a jackpot.

But my father never wrote to me. Except for once.

To my utter surprise once I found one sentence written by him in the empty corner of my mother’s postcard. I am sure he must have written that on his way to post the letter. I read it over and over again with moist eyes  and a lump in my throat.

It read- ‘if you need money, do let me know’.  That one sentence meant so much for me. All his love and affection was put in that single sentence.

I want to tell him, “No, I don’t need any money. You know very well what I need from you…………..”

As a token of utmost regard and respect to my father on Father’s Day,  who passed away untimely on 11^th July 1994.

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